The Gospel of Matthews
The sacred chronicle of the Chosen One, whose divine wrist shot brings hope to the faithful.
The Chosen One: Prophet of Goals
"And lo, from the desert shall come a savior, with a shot blessed by the Hockey Gods themselves, and his name shall be Matthews."
Chapter 1: The Coming of the Chosen One
In the year 2016, after much suffering by the faithful, the Hockey Gods smiled upon Toronto. The lottery balls bounced favorably, and the first overall pick was bestowed upon the Maple Leafs. The prophets spoke of a young man from the desert lands of Arizona, whose shot was unlike any seen before.
And so it came to pass that Auston Matthews was chosen to don the blue and white. The faithful rejoiced, for they sensed that a new era was beginning. Little did they know the miracles that would follow.
"Blessed are those who believed in the rebuild, for they shall witness the coming of the Chosen One and the glory that follows." — Matthews 1:16
Chapter 2: The Miracle of Four
On the night of his debut, the Chosen One performed a miracle never before seen in the sacred annals of hockey. Against the Ottawa Senators, traditional rivals of the faithful, Matthews scored not once, not twice, not thrice, but four times. Four goals in his very first game, a sign from the Hockey Gods that this was indeed the savior foretold.
The faithful were amazed, for even in defeat (for the Leafs lost the game 5-4 in overtime, as is tradition), they had witnessed something extraordinary. The Chosen One had announced his presence in the most emphatic way possible, and hope bloomed in the hearts of even the most cynical believers.
The Sacred Statistics
- 2016-17: 40 goals as a rookie, winning the Calder Trophy
- 2019-20: 47 goals in just 70 games (season shortened by plague)
- 2020-21: 41 goals in just 52 games to win the Rocket Richard Trophy
- 2021-22: 60 goals to set a franchise record and win another Rocket Richard
- Career: The first American-born player to score 60 goals in a season
Chapter 3: The Mustache of Power
As the Chosen One matured, he grew in both skill and facial hair. The faithful noticed that when Matthews grew his mustache, his power seemed to increase. The mustache became a sacred symbol, its appearance changing over the years but always signifying the Chosen One's readiness for battle.
Some of the faithful began to grow their own mustaches in tribute, believing that this would channel some of the Chosen One's power to the team. Whether this worked remains a matter of theological debate, but the mustache became as much a part of Matthews' identity as his lethal wrist shot.
The Evolution of the Holy Mustache
From its humble beginnings to the full "Auston Powers" look, the mustache has evolved alongside Matthews' game. The faithful track its changes with the same dedication as they track his goal totals.
The Wrist Shot Revelation
Goalies throughout the league speak in hushed tones about Matthews' wrist shot. Its release is quicker than the eye can follow, its accuracy more precise than laser-guided technology. Truly a gift from the Hockey Gods.
Chapter 4: The Sixty-Goal Covenant
In the 2021-22 season, the Chosen One fulfilled another prophecy by becoming the first Maple Leaf in over 30 years to score 60 goals in a season. The faithful rejoiced, for surely this was a sign that the Cup's return was imminent. Matthews had reached a height that few in the sacred history of hockey had achieved.
With each goal, the faithful's belief grew stronger. The Chosen One was not just scoring goals; he was scoring them in every way imaginable – wrist shots, one-timers, deflections, even the occasional backhand. His two-way play also improved, making him not just an offensive force but a complete player worthy of the highest praise.
The Prophecy Continues
The Gospel of Matthews is still being written. The faithful believe that the Chosen One's greatest chapters lie ahead – playoff success, a Cup victory, perhaps even multiple championships. His journey is intertwined with the destiny of the Maple Leafs, and the faithful watch eagerly as each new page unfolds.
Chapter 5: The Promise of Redemption
Though the Chosen One has achieved individual glory, the ultimate goal remains elusive. The faithful know that Matthews was not sent merely to score goals, but to lead the Maple Leafs back to the promised land. The Cup has eluded his grasp thus far, but the faithful remain convinced that redemption is coming.
The Gospel of Matthews teaches patience and faith. Rome was not built in a day, and dynasties are not created overnight. The Chosen One continues to develop, to learn from each playoff disappointment, to grow stronger from adversity. And when the time is right, he will lead the faithful to the glory they have awaited for so long.
"Trust in the process, believe in the Chosen One, and the Cup shall return to Toronto in due time." — Matthews 34:16